You Might Not Want to Eat While Reading This One

Gross item #1: While eating supper last night, Ron and I were talking about something. As usual, Sammy started talking about something, and I ignored him at first. Slowly, what he was saying started to seep into my consciousness. “I got cake! I got cake!”

I was puzzled for a few seconds, then I realized where he had just come from. The laundry room. Where the garbage is located. Where I had just thrown out the remnants of a two-week-old chocolate cake. Eww.

Gross item #2: Last night was bath night. I took Natalie into the bathroom to start running the water, and sent Sam to his room to take his pants off. He’s not too good at taking his shirt off yet (his arm always comes out the neck hole), but he can take his pants off like a pro. I walk into the bedroom to see this scene: Sammy, naked from the waist down, crouching over his diaper and staring with intense interest at its contents. I had a sinking feeling and knew what I was going to find. “Were you poopy?” I said with hesitation. “A wittle bit,” he said nonchalantly.

Yep, that was fun to clean up.

The moral of these stories? Toddlers don’t devote a lot of time to worrying about hygiene.

We went out to eat for my birthday on Sunday. This is huge, because we haven’t ever taken both kids out to a restaurant. It was challenging enough when it was just Sammy.

We chose an all-you-can-eat buffet. Not the most exciting place I could have chosen, but there was a method to my madness. With really little kids, it’s all about getting in and out as quickly as you can, before anyone gets bored or melts down. So you see, a buffet totally eliminates all of the wait-to-order and wait-for-your-food time.

Before we went inside, we went over expectations with Sammy. I told him about restaurant manners, and how we all need to stay sitting at the table until everyone is finished eating. Spelling things out for him makes such a huge difference. We did have to remind him of his restaurant manners a couple of times while we were eating, but he did really well overall. I was so proud of him! He right away made small talk with the people at the surrounding tables. “This is chicken,” he said to the gentleman on his right. “That’s Nye,” he informed the people on our left. There are no strangers to him – just friends he hasn’t met yet. I don’t know where that social butterfly gene comes from. Certainly not from his dad or me.

This morning as I was putting on my earrings, Sammy watched me and then said, “Putting on your ornaments, Mommy?” Out of the mouths of babes.

Yesterday, Ron and I both got our turn with the stomach bug. It was brutal, to say the least. It didn't seem to affect the kids as much - they would throw up one minute and be smiling and laughing the next minute, but there wasn't much smiling and laughing going on around here yesterday. We could hardly drag our butts out of bed. The kids both seemed to be healthy, and no one had thrown up since Thursday morning, so we sent them to daycare so we could try to get some rest. After lunch, Sammy's teacher called and said he had thrown up. Boy, did I feel guilty for deciding to send him. His teacher said he had acted fine all morning, though, and ate all his lunch, so she wouldn't have guessed he was sick either. That eased my guilt a little bit.

Aside from getting presents and cards today, it was pretty much a day like any other. My day started at 5 a.m. when Sammy came charging into our room. We tried to convince him to climb into bed with us and rest some more, but when he started asking for milk, I didn't have the heart to say no. He hadn't eatenkept anything down since Tuesday, so I figured he needed the nutrition and calories. I staggered out into the kitchen to make him his oatmeal (his favorite breakfast! we're raising a little Bert) and pour him a glass of milk. He started whining when I turned on the kitchen light because it was "too bright". It was all I could do to keep from grumbling, "well, if you didn't get up so darn early..."

By 6 a.m., Natalie was up, too. Since we were all present and accounted for, I decided we may as well beat the rush and get the grocery shopping done. Ron came with, too - a rare occurrence, but greatly appreciated. Wrangling two kids, while trying to do the grocery shopping and keep my coupons straight, is not much different than a circus act. I'm sure my kids have convinced more than one teenage checker at the grocery store that birth control is a GOOD thing.

In the dairy aisle, Ron said, "Natalie smells like chicken soup. Do you smell that?" Gamely, I came over to take a whiff, and thought I did smell chicken soup on her socks. We'd had chicken noodle soup for supper the night before, so while it was a mystery how it got onto her socks, I didn't waste too much mental energy thinking about it. Later, when we got home, we discovered she'd had a massive blowout, unlike any we'd ever had to deal with before. I don't think we'll ever eat chicken noodle soup again, without associating it with the smell of that diaper.

The day was redeemed, however. Sammy took a 4-hour nap, and I slept two of those hours (can I get an AMEN!). Then later, the two kids were playing together in a blanket on the floor, when out of the blue, Sammy said, "I love Natalie" and gave her a big hug and a kiss. He has been really good with her lately, bringing her toys, asking to hold her, and giving her hugs and kisses. MUCH preferable to the phase we went through when he listed his favorite pasttime as "chucking hard objects at Natalie's head".

Oh, and last but not least - Ron and the kids bought me "Dancing with the Stars" for the Wii. I haven't had a lot of time to play it yet, but so far, I'm loving it! I have no idea how he knew that I wanted that game. Okay, actually I do. A couple of days ago, he asked what I wanted for my birthday. I mentioned that game, and about half an hour later, he decided he was going to "take Sammy to Target". Seeing how he never does that, I can only assume he wanted to go get my present before he forgot.

With a Song in My Heart

In the days before my birthday,
My children gave to me:
12 dirty diapers
11 loads of laundry
10 buckets of vomit
9 changes of clothing
8 temper tantrums
7 refused meals
6 thrown toys
5 sudsy baths
4 bed sheet changes
3 aborted naps
2 whiny children
and a big poopy diaper blowout

Hope your last couple of days have been better than mine. I'm hoping for a reprieve by Saturday. Turning 30 is traumatic enough without all of the bodily fluids.

I don't know how I made it through 2+ years of motherhood without having to clean up the results of someone else's stomach bug, but my streak ended today. Little Natalie has been barfing on me all day long. You should see my laundry basket. I've had three outfit changes today, Ron has had one, and Natalie has had five. And to add insult to injury, one barf episode happened on my freshly mopped floor. She doesn't quite know what to think about throwing up. She doesn't cry; she just looks stunned. I have two clean pairs of her pajamas waiting by the bed, because I can't imagine we're going to make it through the night unscathed.

In other (non-barfing) news, we bit the bullet and switched over to Mac. This is a huge step for me, a loyal PC user. Our current computer has developed a death rattle, as well as spitting out some ominous-sounding errors, so it's just a matter of time before it keels over. Wish me luck! I haven't used a Mac since high school.

And, just for fun - here's Sammy changing Natalie's diaper:

Natalie, having her first taste of brussel sprouts oatmeal:

Weekend recap

On Sunday, I golfed two 9-hole golf courses, played 3 tennis games, boxed one round, and bowled 10 frames. Yes, we are finally the proud owners of a Wii! I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to find that little machine. I knew we wouldn’t get one at Christmas time, but I had no idea it would take two months to get my hands on one.

Do you know that there are whole websites devoted to helping people score a Wii? I signed up for two of them – one which tracked online inventories of major retailers, and one which tracked local availability. I ended up locating mine at Target by pure, dumb luck. I got the second-to-last unit. Yay, me! I know, I sound like a total geek now. Hey – at least I didn’t stand in line at midnight to get one!

We also went to the Minnesota Children’s Museum on Sunday. Sammy had a blast. I’d never been there before, but it was worth every penny we paid, and we will definitely be repeat customers. There were so many fun, hands-on activities for toddlers, and Sammy was running from one exhibit to the next, as fast as his little legs would take him. Natalie wasn’t feeling too well this weekend, so she slumbered away in her Snugli the whole time. She seemed to be feeling a lot better yesterday, back to her usual, happy self. Teething, or another ear infection – who knows? If it was an ear infection, it seems to be clearing up on its own.

I have two kids teething at the same time. Come on, you know you’re jealous. Let’s just say that I’ve recently learned a full-size bed is NOT big enough for a family of four. By 5:00 a.m., all of us are crammed into the bed, like sardines in a can. Whatever buys us a little more sleep, uncomfortable as it may be, is worth it in my book.

On a side note, Sammy goes to daycare with a little boy named Alexander. Yesterday, we were talking about what he had done at daycare and a sly smile came across his face. “Alexander punny [funny],” he said. Mental note: Ask daycare teacher what Alexander did. Knowing Sammy, his sense of humor, and his mischievous nature, I suspect a good story.

I'm fighting off a little cold. Not too surprising, since both of the kids have had runny noses for the past two months. This is what it's come to - my life consists of wiping noses and butts.

To try and fend off the cold, I've been taking Zicam. It's these meltaway pills that come in a little tube with a non-childproof lid. This morning, I took one and put the tube back in my purse. Sammy went over to the purse, pulled out the tube and took the cap off. I told him that he couldn't play with those and took the tube back from him. He stood there, looking at me, and finally said, "I'm mad". I've never heard him say that before, so I was going through my mental Sammy-English dictionary to think what other word that could be. While I was thinking, he said again, "I'm mad...at you." No question about it that time.

It was funny this morning, but ask me again when he's a teenager.