Thursday, February 28, 2008

With a Song in My Heart

In the days before my birthday,
My children gave to me:
12 dirty diapers
11 loads of laundry
10 buckets of vomit
9 changes of clothing
8 temper tantrums
7 refused meals
6 thrown toys
5 sudsy baths
4 bed sheet changes
3 aborted naps
2 whiny children
and a big poopy diaper blowout

Hope your last couple of days have been better than mine. I'm hoping for a reprieve by Saturday. Turning 30 is traumatic enough without all of the bodily fluids.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I don't know how I made it through 2+ years of motherhood without having to clean up the results of someone else's stomach bug, but my streak ended today. Little Natalie has been barfing on me all day long. You should see my laundry basket. I've had three outfit changes today, Ron has had one, and Natalie has had five. And to add insult to injury, one barf episode happened on my freshly mopped floor. She doesn't quite know what to think about throwing up. She doesn't cry; she just looks stunned. I have two clean pairs of her pajamas waiting by the bed, because I can't imagine we're going to make it through the night unscathed.

In other (non-barfing) news, we bit the bullet and switched over to Mac. This is a huge step for me, a loyal PC user. Our current computer has developed a death rattle, as well as spitting out some ominous-sounding errors, so it's just a matter of time before it keels over. Wish me luck! I haven't used a Mac since high school.

And, just for fun - here's Sammy changing Natalie's diaper:

Natalie, having her first taste of brussel sprouts oatmeal:

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Weekend recap

On Sunday, I golfed two 9-hole golf courses, played 3 tennis games, boxed one round, and bowled 10 frames. Yes, we are finally the proud owners of a Wii! I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to find that little machine. I knew we wouldn’t get one at Christmas time, but I had no idea it would take two months to get my hands on one.

Do you know that there are whole websites devoted to helping people score a Wii? I signed up for two of them – one which tracked online inventories of major retailers, and one which tracked local availability. I ended up locating mine at Target by pure, dumb luck. I got the second-to-last unit. Yay, me! I know, I sound like a total geek now. Hey – at least I didn’t stand in line at midnight to get one!

We also went to the Minnesota Children’s Museum on Sunday. Sammy had a blast. I’d never been there before, but it was worth every penny we paid, and we will definitely be repeat customers. There were so many fun, hands-on activities for toddlers, and Sammy was running from one exhibit to the next, as fast as his little legs would take him. Natalie wasn’t feeling too well this weekend, so she slumbered away in her Snugli the whole time. She seemed to be feeling a lot better yesterday, back to her usual, happy self. Teething, or another ear infection – who knows? If it was an ear infection, it seems to be clearing up on its own.

I have two kids teething at the same time. Come on, you know you’re jealous. Let’s just say that I’ve recently learned a full-size bed is NOT big enough for a family of four. By 5:00 a.m., all of us are crammed into the bed, like sardines in a can. Whatever buys us a little more sleep, uncomfortable as it may be, is worth it in my book.

On a side note, Sammy goes to daycare with a little boy named Alexander. Yesterday, we were talking about what he had done at daycare and a sly smile came across his face. “Alexander punny [funny],” he said. Mental note: Ask daycare teacher what Alexander did. Knowing Sammy, his sense of humor, and his mischievous nature, I suspect a good story.

Friday, February 22, 2008

I'm fighting off a little cold. Not too surprising, since both of the kids have had runny noses for the past two months. This is what it's come to - my life consists of wiping noses and butts.

To try and fend off the cold, I've been taking Zicam. It's these meltaway pills that come in a little tube with a non-childproof lid. This morning, I took one and put the tube back in my purse. Sammy went over to the purse, pulled out the tube and took the cap off. I told him that he couldn't play with those and took the tube back from him. He stood there, looking at me, and finally said, "I'm mad". I've never heard him say that before, so I was going through my mental Sammy-English dictionary to think what other word that could be. While I was thinking, he said again, "I'm you." No question about it that time.

It was funny this morning, but ask me again when he's a teenager.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Natalie is sitting up pretty well these days, but she still does a lot of over-correcting. As long as she doesn’t get hurt, it’s pretty hilarious.

Over the weekend, I had her sitting on Sammy’s bed while I was putting clothes away. She and Sammy were both sitting there, looking at a book together. Well, mostly Sammy was looking at the book, and every time Natalie would try to touch it, Sammy would say, “No touch, Nye. My book.” and yank it away from her. But at least they were both occupied and no one was crying.

I turned around to see Natalie hanging headfirst off the bed. I lunged and grabbed her in time before the rest of her slid off. I had set her well away from the edge of the bed, but I always underestimate how long she is. She didn’t even seem to realize what had happened, so all was well.

That reminded me of something that happened when Sammy was around the same age. I set him on the floor in the hall outside the bathroom, and Anya came running over. That poor cat never did figure out that she was more likely to get her fur pulled by him than petted.

First, I need to explain the “fall-down” trick. Both of our cats were very good at this trick. It was one of the only two tricks in their repertoire – the other one being the “lie on the newspaper to get your human’s attention” trick. The fall-down trick involved me patting the floor, and the cat coming over and flopping down on top of my hand.

Sammy must have done something with his hand that reminded Anya of this trick. She put her head down on Sammy’s hand, and executed her trick flawlessly. Sammy went butt-over-teakettle backwards, cat on top of him.

I rushed into the hall, laughing so hard I couldn’t hardly catch a breath, and removed the cat so she wouldn’t end up clawing him as she tried to get off.

I wasn’t finished in the bathroom yet, so after sitting Sammy back up in the hall, I went back to the bathroom.

Along came Anya for round two. She sauntered past Sammy, twitching her tail in invitation – come on, you know you want to pet me was what she was thinking. Sammy was thinking, I wonder what will happen if I pull this? He reached out and grabbed her tail, and she tried to take off running. That was enough to yank Sammy out of his precarious sitting position, and he landed squarely on top of Anya. They called it even and went on to other pursuits.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Pictures are a lazy blogger's best friend

When Natalie was a month old, we thought maybe we could save a little money by doing her 1-month pictures ourselves. That, and we didn't want to try to ensure that both kids would be fed, clean, and happy at the same time. I think that's only happened once in the last five months. It was January 24, 1:35 p.m. And it ended a minute later when Sammy chucked his sippy cup at Natalie's head.

First, we got this picture of Natalie.

Then we rearranged things to take some pictures of Sammy. But he had his own ideas.

The pillow he's lying on? It was underneath the white blanket in Natalie's picture. And it's hard to tell, but he has the green blanket pulled halfway up his back. Yes, he was posing himself exactly like we'd posed her.

Mother's little helper

Sammy loves to help out with his little sister.

Here, Natalie was fussing so Sammy brought her a few toys to play with. This picture was taken early on - by the time he was done, you couldn't hardly see her face behind the mound of stuffed animals. That white fuzzy thing is actually one of my cat slippers that Sammy dug out from the closet.

Here, he was "holding da baby".
And here he was "pumpa milk for da baby". He couldn't figure out why no milk was coming out.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

After posting yesterday, I realized that it sounds like I’m making fun of a mentally handicapped man. To set the record straight – while Nehborhood Gofhur is not exactly the brightest cookie in the cookie jar*, he is not handicapped. Just…odd.

We are drowning in snot at our house. Natalie has had a series of colds for the past month. Just as one cold starts easing up, another one starts. I stayed up too late last night doing our taxes. Of course, I had no clue that I was going to end up being awake most of the night with her because she couldn’t breathe, yet again. Taxes and snot. Great fun.

Sammy has developed the really annoying habit of blowing his nose multiple times a day. The bad part? He doesn’t ask for a Kleenex first. There he goes again, rivers of snot running into his mouth, as he takes off running to hide from me and my Kleenex. I’m not really sure why he thinks that’s a fun game, but it sure will be fun to tell his girlfriends about some day.

*I overheard a former coworker say this once. She was a few glowing M&M’s short of a bright cookie herself.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Would you like to be my neighbor?

There’s this guy who obsessively walks (or bikes, in the summer) the road that goes by our house. I’ve driven past him when I leave for work at 6:00 a.m., and I’ve driven past him when coming home from doing errands at 9:00 p.m. He’s always given me an odd feeling, just because I don’t really know what his deal is. He stops at the side of the road when he sees a car coming, and then watches it drive by. When I look in my rearview mirror, I can see him turned around, still watching me.

A couple of years ago, when I first noticed him, I made a point of driving past our house if he was around, because I didn’t want him to see where I turned in. After awhile, that got to be too much trouble so I gave it up. I figure, if anyone breaks into our house, I have a prime suspect and everyone who lives on our road would be able to give a good description of him. I think maybe a little chocolate would taste good with my paranoia.

Last summer, Ron, Sammy, and I went for a walk down our street. It’s a winding, two-mile road, and at one end it is very secluded and woodsy. We rounded a bend to see a deer lying in the road. That’s not all that unusual in our neck of the woods, but as we got closer, I could see her stomach heaving. She was still alive, and obviously in a lot of pain. It was a really hot day besides, and she was lying in full sun. Every few seconds, she’d fling her legs and try to stand up, to no avail. It was especially tragic because it was obvious she was still nursing a little one, so the baby was most likely going to die too, when its mother didn’t come home.

Neither Ron nor I had brought our cell phones with, and there were no occupied houses close by. Lo and behold, who should come biking down the road but Creepy Guy. Ron went over to talk to him, while I kept my distance. Pretty soon, Ron came back with a business card, of all things. Apparently Creepy Guy goes by the title of “Nehborhod gofhur”. He had the number for the sheriff on his cell phone (don’t we all?) and placed the call.

I’m not really sure why we need a Nehborhod Gofhur, but I should find out when the election is coming up. I'm working on a slogan. Maybe, “More gofhuring with less creepiness.”

Friday, February 8, 2008

How did it get to be Friday already? Sorry for the lack of posts this week. Work has been insanely busy, and it's always insanely busy at home. Something had to go to the back burner - and did you really think I'd give up my 2-hour massages or my pedicures? Ha.

Just to set the record straight, I have NO IDEA what color the mailman's hair is. In fact, I don't even know if he's actually a "he". I don't have any idea why everyone's been asking me that lately.

I may be blonde but I kick butt at peekaboo.

Monday, February 4, 2008

When you have a four-month-old baby, one of the most common questions people ask is, “Does s/he sleep through the night yet?” My answer to that is a maniacal laugh. Sammy didn’t sleep through the night until he was 15 months old, so I don’t have high hopes that Natalie will be any different. She doesn’t even consistently sleep the 5-hour stretch that the experts call “sleeping through the night” (and my night is a lot longer than 5 hours).

If she ever does sleep a long stretch, I always wake up in panic – OMG the baby hasn’t woken yet OMG SIDS OMG – just to hear her start crying 2 minutes later. I’m sure that has nothing to do with me poking at her and peering in her face to see if I can hear her breathing. I’m guessing maybe that is maybe why my babies don’t learn to sleep through the night for a long time - they’ve learned to expect a rude awakening if they sleep too long.

On Friday night, we moved Sammy into a twin bed. It was pretty much a non-event. The only thing that has changed is that instead of waking up to the sound of Sammy crying in his crib, begging to be sprung from jail, we’ve woken up the past three mornings to the quiet “click” of his door opening, followed by the proclamation, “I’m awake!”

Now the crib is available for Natalie, but I’m not ready to move her yet. There are pros and cons to having her in our room. It would be nice to turn the light on at night, so I could read awhile before going to sleep, but on the other hand – I really like my sleep. It’s so much easier to deal with her by reaching over than it is trekking across the hall to get her every time she wakes up. And I’ll miss hearing the small noises she makes as she sleeps. Or when she wakes up during the night, ready to play (like she did at 4:00 a.m. this morning). If anyone else woke me up at that ungodly hour, they’d hear about my displeasure – but listening to her laugh and chatter makes it impossible to be grouchy.